Israelites. desert. 40 years. 14600 days.

we are in the desert. we have to get out. there is no direction to follow, no advice to heed, no common cause to work towards. self centered natures have taken over. personal strategies and goals have surfaced. stupid and childish quarrels ensue right after. jealousy follows. lost we are. and lost we will remain being if we dun start to wake up. how much do we want our promise land? how much more longer do we want to stay in the desert. the longer we stay the further we are away from promise. the more disorientated we are. the more lost we are. can we be more lost? we need to focus. we need help. we need to be humbled. we need God, more so we need to admit that we need God.

enough with being satisfied with where we are. there is nth satisfying abt our state. not anywhere close where God wants us to be. we need to want more, we need to want to be better, we need to want to be who God wants and intends us to be. pretention only lasts that long. why are we even going to church if we are expecting  lukewarm experiences from God, a few casual conversations, and no concrete and valuable inputs into our lives. are we growing? or are we stagnating? are we even at the state of decay? im tired of the mind games. im tired of stubborn and stuck up people.i'm tired of immaturity and egos. im tired of half- hearted responses. im basically tired. physically.

this is getting out of hand. imagine yourselves dwelling in the hse of God with this kinds of behavior, if God were human like our parents, we will be on the streets. grab hold of the second chance. realise u are nth without God. realise the church is for GOD, NOT FOR YOU. realise u need God. God will show u. its time to rise up JAEL.. its long overdue.

Learn from the Israelites. history might just repeat itself.

Psalms 23/ what happened on sunday; the feeling of being used by God.

Psalms 23. a meaningful psalm. especially for those whose faith are wavering, those in doubt of the presence of God in the presence of your difficulties. read it carefully, line by line verse by verse and be really encouraged by David. bottom line is,even when u walk thru your valley of the shadow of death, which is something i consider to be one of the worst or perhaps the worst thing that can happen to u/me, and God is going to be there, do u not think He will be there when u go thru other problems that are lesser in comparison? Our God is a big God. Really big. its time to really know our  BIG GOD.



now for what happened on sunday.
very discouraged and disturbed by many things prior to Sunday. even forgot that i was worship leading and had to send out songlist by wed.preoccupied with the situation of the youth. came to church. lost my blackberry sock on the taxi. during practice many many mistakes, even went out of tune at the start of one song. emotional confidence level lowered. presentation song was not ready to be presented, cancelled it.prayed earnestly just before service started, asking God to help me focus and be ready to be used by Him. service started. was worship leading. shared Psalms 84. then just before i started to lead the next slow song.then felt a strong impulse to review Psalms 23 and share.Holy Spirit promtping to elaborate. so i obeyed and did.a bit draggy as im naturally naggy. worship flowed. word of knowledge from uncle gilbert towards the end. communion. end.



well i thought that was the end. after the worship i was making my way to the toilet, aunty eileen came out from the ladies, smiled and hugged me and said, 'God is very pleased with you'. i was stunned. and just hugged her back. after the entire service, was going towards audi 2 to prac for youth. another adult appeared in front of me, shook my hand and said, thank you for Psalms 23, it really spoke to me. and i was like wow twice someone came up to me thanking God that He spoke through me. i was really happy and honored at the same time. two was more than enough for me to know what i did on stage was real,god planned, god initiated and god concluded/ministered.



then another twist. when God blesses, He blesses in abundance. and this was in the form of another i am close to, texting me just before i went to bed, saying thank you for the songs that i led and for Psalms 23. that it really spoke to his/her heart. wow i gave thanks once again to my God. my awesome Big God who included me into His plan of ministering to His children. It felt awesome. it was honorable. and all i did was ask. all it took was a willing heart ready to do the will of God. God is awesome. two words to tell God today; 'USE ME.'



* p.s cant mention the two names cuz i didnt seek their permission to. so for now they are just person A and B. ( referring to the two that approached me and texted me respectively)

when u are numbed by the devil

im just gonna go straight to it. when u feel something is not right, whether in your ministry or life or relationships etc etc, it IS not right! redundant? cliche? whatever u call it but this is something almost everyone doesnt seem to realise. because just when they are abt to wake up, they suffer from something called the numbing sensation, courtesy of the devil himself. when u feel something is gg astray, and u know its not your natural sinful deceitful heart, thats the conviction of God. but that conviction can be easily superceded by the devil's doing. 

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? is the devil better than GOD? u wish. all the other demons in the world wish. naturally that is nv possible because God is omnipotent and because... well HE IS GOD. but we make it possible how? when we start to get caught up w the things of the world rather than the things of God. worldly things like sin, secular music, ungodly behavior and speech, o the list goes on. and when we start to enjoy it more because it brings abt more 'satisfaction' and 'fufilment' mainly because we are too lazy to seek after God and instead SETTLE for second best/actually the worst and start to convince ourselves its the best we can do.

Example time: which story do we like better? Sam Worthington saving the planet Pandora or Jesus saving our planet Earth? which had more impact visually and emotionally? last question, which one was real? think abt it ehh

next example: what do we like better? people singing abt girls and sex and booze and being emo or people singing abt how God has changed their lives, even putting it into verses and choruses that mirror our very lives or at the very least set a good example for ours? yes the other songs may sound nice, whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover. the music is the initial attraction, dun let it be the main fatal attraction and let the lyrics seep into your subconscious mind. BE ALERT! be motivated by the right lyrics and even the right purpose of the song.

what is my point exactly? what u glory in, u will eventually be caught up in. and what u are caught up in will be eventually what u believe. thats the way the devil will numb u. because slowly, u will lean towards the world's opinion rather than God's, the world's standards rather than God's> and slowly u dun feel anything for the things of God, the wrath of God etc etc. u become numbed to the things of God. and its a slow and sure process. the worst is u realise it and u may not even be bothered in the slightest. 

time to be sensitive again. time to wake up and time to go back to foundational truths of our christianity.dun let the devil numb u. its a painless process thus u will nv resist it. so pray for God's conviction and His Holy Spirit to guide u, to make it hurt.when u dun feel anything anymore, its easier to hurt u without u knowing at all. its easier for the devil to take off from you the armor of God. the best thing is that he will lead u to decide to take it all off.

when smth is not right. its not right. make it right. dun ignore it. or it'll become a habit. a devilish habit. dun numb yourself. dun let the devil numb u. BE SENSITIVE TO THE THINGS OF GOD. make the effort. its a matter of life and death. its a matter of your eternal fate. think and ponder.