envy

 this is random but im sure for most it is pretty relevant. the need to have everything someone else has. the need to better that someone even if it is just a act of unruly defiance, manifests from a singular feeling which is jealous envy. this feeling consumes ur every act and spoken word, simply because u think he/she doesnt deserve whatever he/she is enjoying now. maybe its money, or looks or studies etc. if u start on this road, its a slippery one. there is always someone better, in everything. what do u prove at the end of the day? that you can be better? okay but what comes out of that shows what motivates u.. jealousy. it shows ur character, and its major flaws. in ur foolish attempt to be better, you've shown ur inadequate nature that probably meant why that person is better in the first place. self defeating? u bet.

its laughable and sad at the same time. if god meant for u two to be the same, he wouldn't have made both of you. instead i will go as far to say that u are insulting the creativity of God as u question ur own existence and features as a child of God. grow up. there is definitely more to the christian life than this. outward appearances dun last forever, its the same with forced qualities. if u dun have the heart, nothing will last. give it up and start over. dun live just to prove to a person who doesnt even care, that u are better. only u care. and God will be going 'what are u doing?'

there is a unique role for u to play. dun give it up for temporal, lame and childish satisfaction of being one up over ur 'foe'. ask the Holy Spirit to renew ur mind. renew ur perspective. start living how God wants u to live. strive to improve using God's way not yours. god won't let u live in mediocrity. the more u do it your way. the more mediocre u become. 

one last thing for the unconvinced. when u want to beat the person, u are already putting in more effort than he/she is. what u are jealous of is the natural talent, the innate ability. im sorry but i dun think effort trumps that at all. once again, u just showed u need effort to make up for what is a loss of innate ability on your part.

am i talking about you? yes. ( i mean if u are alr thinking abt this question....)