without God I am truly nothing. there was really a purpose to that failed test.

i need to sleep. then again watching old shows and browsing old pictures really make u wanna scream for whatever reason, be it good or bad. so many emotions and concerns and thoughts and feelings, i need God, now more than ever. this period of doing nth is doing something to me. at least there are a few people who make it all better every single day. to really adapt to change is so difficult. i seem to not be able to see past the next day, let alone the future. is it just me or is everything out of order. i need some focus, some sort of a thorough tidying up of myself. im bottling up too much. in a bid to be someone who can be looked up to, im slowly becoming someone i was always afraid to become, an idler. i cannot be like this. i gotta snap out of it. god help me snap out of it. i've lost touch. its time to come back to who i used to be. i dun like the present me. its too much. i've changed. ive got to unchange that. yeap. i have to. for everyone's sake. for my sake.o for goodness sake. literally.

the problems and the one solution

THE PROBLEMS

1) youth service is youth service, not the time to come late, take your time, and enter with an attitude that no one deserves. no one owes anyone anything. the only person we do owe is God

2) don't complain the youth ministry doesn't grow, cuz personal devotion itself helps you grow. blaming someone for our lack of growth is the equivalent of blaming satan for giving us temptation. if we really wanted to grow, we will regardless the provisions. leadership is something we dont question, because God appoints, we follow.

3) ministry is of the heart, not of outward gestures and performances, like in army, sooner or later people will see the 'wayang' (act act only). the heart endures, our emotions dont.rmb when mary chose to listen to Jesus and not help martha. Jesus said she chose what was better. Luke 10:38 a heart of focusing on the right thing which was Jesus.

4) youth ministry is not run by one. man up everyone and start doing something for your own youth ministry and stop taking a backseat and criticizing everything that is wrong from your own perspective, because it is small and short sighted. DO SOMETHING instead of SAY SOMETHING. God doesnt need onlookers, he needs doers of the Word. stop being lazy and hide being that lame excuse of ' but no sermon how we grow'. there are so many resources.(cell leaders, bible study materials, the BIBLE) or is it too much trouble to go to, to learn about a GOD who gave his ALL for us sinners? youth ministry starts with all of us. the pastures are always greener on the other side. and unless god tells u clearly to leave, you don't. its as simple as that.

5) we want to change our youth ministry? then start changing ourselves first and make ourselves usable for God. a heart of critique and unnecessary disrespect and coyness aren't things that God can use.

6) youth ministry is about GOD and not US. is what you can do for God and not what our youth ministry can do for us. its called a ministry. means outreach. so settle ourselves so we can settle others.

THE ONE SOLUTION

cant think of anymore problems we have at the moment but enough for us to reflect and ponder. the one solution is God. Get our lives in order and make ourselves usable. look at our own hearts before looking at others and judging them.get a GOD PERSPECTIVE instead of a 'ME' PERSPECTIVE.

stop our intra-ministry gossiping and focus on what really matters and what really needs to be addressed. it is ultimately God's youth ministry.

p.s. i just had to get it out. hope this wakes us all up

grace assembly and driving lessons

i finally went to grace assembly for a ministry meeting and it was awesome. they actually free worshipped for 15 mins during and after a song, twice! i've never experienced such freedom in worship in a collective before and i was so happy to be able to say all that i wanted to God with the loudest i could be and just raising my hands without regard. everyone is like that there! awesome. simply awesome. then Pastor meng chiam preached about living with grace in place, not displaced or replaced. such an input into my life. God has really prepared the place for me before i went. looking forward to sat man! band and singing training! GRACE IS AWESOME!

(awkward silence)

i went for my first driving lessons today also and i just realised that driving at 20km/h is actually FAST! yea its FAST! dun call me scaredy cat, u go and try yourself for the first time. lol! but it was really fun man. the instructor is really funny with his analogies and theories on the road. only thing is i brake and accelerate really hard so i gotta watch it. guess im made for faster things like F1! hahaha yea right.. haha o man im so not gonna be able to pass let alone drive ppl around. scared. very scary i wanna drive my tank again! =(

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i miss many people, many things, many times. God help me see that change is good.

Blasphemy and Vulgarities

thought this might be of interest to some of us. i just felt the need to share this.

Blasphemy against the Spirit is the absolute, permanent, hateful rejection of the gifts of the Holy Spirit with the motive to keep others from fully following Christ as well as to keep one's position of power. A person who has committed this sin has no desire for repentance, will divide the body of Christ, judge the salvation of others, and will ultimately die in this state.

Swearing:

Leviticus 19:12

 And ye shall not swear by my name falsely, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD. - King James Version

Jeremiah 23:10

For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right. - King James Version

Hosea 10:4

 They have spoken words, swearing falsely in making a covenant: thus judgment springeth up as hemlock in the furrows of the field. - King James Version

James 5:12

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation. - King James Version

check out this story..

I met two Mormon missionaries who had more fear of God than these charismatic-bashers. They politely shared with my wife and me their view that only Mormons could be saved.

            I kindly objected and told them how I was born again. I shared how I was filled with the Holy Spirit.

            "How do you know that you have the Holy Spirit?" the head missionary asked.

            "I know because I have the gifts of the Holy Spirit, including speaking in tongues," I answered boldly.

            And without hesitation, he questioned, "How can you be sure that your speaking in tongues is from the Holy Spirit and not from an evil spirit?"

            I cleverly answered, "You tell me, did I receive the Holy Spirit or an evil spirit?"

            The other missionary interrupted, "It is not our place to judge."

            "But you say that no one can receive the Holy Spirit without being a Mormon," I baited.

            The leader spoke up. "I'm prepared to tell you whether you received the Holy Spirit or an evil spirit!"

            "Go, ahead. Tell me."

            He paused. He thought for a moment. His mind seemed to drift. Finally, he forced the words out slowly, but almost wishing to keep silent, "You received an evil spirit."

            With a boldness not my own, I pointed my finger at him and fired the words, "Jesus said you can blaspheme Him or His Father and still be forgiven, but if you blaspheme the Holy Spirit, you'll not be forgiven in this age or the age to come! If you're right, then you have nothing to fear; but if your wrong, then you are in danger of eternal damnation!"

            The other Mormon jumped in, "I didn't say it." Then he pointed to his friend. "HE SAID IT!"

            A couple of minutes elapsed when the leader softly said, "I want to take back my statement." And with humility, he apologized, "Sir, not only should I not have judged you, but I was wrong in my judgment of you. According to my Mormon teaching, you can not have the Holy Spirit. But, I believe, you are the first non-Mormon I've met who has the Holy Spirit."

            I wish some fundamentalist would have the same fear of God as these Mormons. 

I pray that none will fall victim to this, that the Lord will take control of your thoughts and keep it pure.lets stop speaking profanities. Never deny the Holy Spirit and his work.

God's Test For His Anointed

1 Samuel 20:1 What have I done? what is my crime? how have i wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?

the cost of being God's chosen can be great. those whom God have anointed for service and influence in His Kingdom has to undergo a special preparation so as to be ready for the future challenges in his adventure with God.

One such example in the Bible was the test David had to undergo when he was serving the the courts of Saul. we all know the story of David being anointed to be the next King of Israel as a young boy. he was brought into King Saul's service to play music. He served well and while there got the opportunity to stand up against Goliath and God elevated him for his next stage of development as future king of Israel.

Then there came a point of time that when David's popularity grew with the many things he has accomplished as future king, so did King Saul's jealousy of him.the time came when Saul could control it no longer and decided to try and kill David. David thus had to go into hiding for many years till he was able to see that the hand of God in all of this.

If you know you have been anointed for something great, whether through your daily devotions, at an altar call or even at a conference, then be prepared and equip yourself for God's tests. When God anoints us, it is accompanied by some severe tests designed to prepare us for the calling God has on our lives. the consequence of failing a test is the same as with our school system, we will just remain at that level till we are able to prove to God that we are ready for the next challenge which will be harder and tougher than the previous.

What kind of tests will God put before us?
these tests often involve;
1) money,
2) relationships
3) issues of the heart,
4) temptations, and even your fears.

David definitely thought that once he was anointed above all his other brothers to be the future king of Israel by Samuel, he would be conveniently nurtured, trained and raised to be the next king accompanied with all the comfortable benefits of kingship. But God's plan is always bigger than ours because He sees farther than us. God prepares us for eternity, whereas we have the tendency to only plan for the immediate future and have false hope in eternity.

God's prep of David involved persecution, disloyalty and even great hardship. God knew these were key lessons for a godly King.

so lets evaluate ourselves. each and every one of us have a certain and unique calling by God and it is a definite big appointment in its own right. if you are going through tough times now, be sure to discern if now is the time God has set for your test. Are you willing to grow from it? are u willing to endure through it all so that you are one step closer to God ultimate calling for your life? these tests are all designed to bring about greater obedience greater humility and greater resolve. and through these personal tests, greater faith in the work God has been doing in your life. Be alert and aware when tough times come your way because it just might be God's exam in determining if you are ready for more.

To be a great part in God's kingdom is worth it. Do not stagnate your own spiritual growth and position in a moment of weakness, inability or failing to see things God's way. God never gives us tests we can't pass. it is always a situation we can deal with when we seek God for His strength. God wants to prepare you adequately for His service. BE READY. Pass the test and go onto the next level. He's waiting for you.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


Heb 5:8
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

The Desert

Ever thought of conveying an important message to someone but realising that he or she isnt giving his or her full attention towards you? there seems to be one or more things distracting him or her from listening to you with full intent. eventually you either wait for him to be free of distractions or drag him/her to one corner with and tell him/her.

Distractions prevent us from giving our undivided attention to the messenger. in our christian walk with God, he is our messenger and sometimes He also sends the Holy Spirit. God has His own way of taking us aside, so as for us to give him our undivided attention. many biblical characters have been taken out of their comfort zone and into their own deserts by God. there was Paul, Moses, Joseph and even David  when he was running away from King Saul.

We as humans are stubborn at times, and for some of us its probably all the time, and God knows we need a desert experience in order for Him to acccomplish his work, in order for us to be given the privilege of being used by Him in His Kingdom.

The Desert does a few things to us:

1) makes us uncomfortable and forces us to adapt.

2) leaves us barren of material resources and makes us turn to, for most of us, our last resort, God.

3) it changes our focus from the luxury to the necessity of survival, in this case; spiritual survival.

4) allows us to draw deeper from God's grace.

5) removes the unnecessary.

( these are just some of the things which i think u all will identify with)

God will only take you out of the desert once He has accomplished what He had set out to do and change in your life. Nonetheless take comfort that the desert is only a season in our lives and that it won't last forever. instead use the time to really understand God's heart, aspire to hear His voice like you would have never heard, if you weren't in the desert.

its about seeing the desert through God's perspective. If you think you seem to be in a dry lonely place, where everything and every aspect of your life is just not working out, then the time has come for you. you are in the desert. maximise the time you have in there and reach for God and all that He has for you during this time. Dun focus on the short sighted stuff and see the line ahead. it's the start of your moulding. in army , my sergeant used to say,'' tough times dun last tough men do''. and i guess it applies to our christian lives too. Tough times dun last, tough christians with firm foundations do.

Use the desert fully. God simply wants to take you higher. See it as God sees it.