motivation behind serving.

just a heads up. do not ignore ur true motivation behind ministry and service. if it starts with an unhealthy cause, it will not fade away until u confess and repent. and it will ultimately surface with ur demands. be truthful with urself and let God redeem u of that imperfection. or u are just gonna make everyone suffer along with u. ive seen it happen too many times.
figure out ur underlying motivation, before its too late.

lyrics lyrics lyrics are more impt than melody

'Lyrics are important. They're just not as important as melody' - Alex Fletcher

this quote i got from watching music and lyrics, quite a while back ago.

the quote above, kinda sums up how we sometimes approach songs of all genre. be it secular or worship songs. the melody; 'the physical attraction', that certain guitar solo; that voice; or a certain chord progression that assumes for a split second, that the author of whichever u are in awe of in that song, is nothing short of a genius by being able to do that. there is nothing wrong with physical attraction, initially, but my concern with the trend, is that when it becomes ALL abt the physical attraction. this is applicable to both secular songs and gospel songs

lets start with the secular. we hear artistes like Jason Derulo, Justin Bieber ( no worries girls its not because i hate him, thats another issue altogether), Lady Gaga, Rihanna etc, the list can go on forever. the melody of the songs that these various artistes have so talentedly written is nth short of amazing, but their lyrics espouse so many ideals and constructs that just go against the teachings of the bible. take Jason Derulo for example, he sure can dance and sing, but what is he singing abt? getting lucky with some girl in the club? how everything is going through in his head? lustful desires, basically sin. and sometimes we sing these songs because we are in love with the melody, nth wrong with that. but the lyrics that we sing to accentuate the melody is. 

are we at an impasse? am i overreacting? i really doubt that i am.  the pt im trying to get across is that if we dun take a second look at the lyrics that we are so energetically singing just because of the melody, we are slowly but surely getting sublimated by these sinful ideals that the songs are singing abt. 

lets take an extreme example, what if the lyrics were, ' the devil lucifer, what a wonderful king' to the tune of hakuna matata of lion king? even typing that phrase made me cringe. what im trying to put across is firstly, is the the melody takes the focus off of what we are actually singing, secondly and more generally, secular songs dun tell u directly that satan is king, but they take a lesser though equally singful form, they espouse sexual habits as commercial, they seem to ' love the way u lie' , and what is happening is a definite compromise of our christian beliefs on our part cuz it just 'doesnt seem that bad.' its still bad isnt it? the devil isnt stupid, he wont make songs that say 'im the king' but he creates themes that suggest ' maybe this is another way to go' and slowly increases the intensity of the message. lets us realise the pitfalls we are abt to succumb to. we have to decide between what is right and what is easier to do.

as for the gospel songs. familiarity breeds contempt. and this i strongly agree, with the way we are committing to these songs and their lyrics. one thing we have to realise that gospel songs are spiritual, they are powerful and they are life changing, simply because they are god given. lets put more effort in firstly, knowing what we sing, secondly, commiting to what we profess when we sing, and thirdly, singing it with a renewed passion. dun go 'auto -pilot' on the songs we are familiar with, dun go 'offline' with the songs u dun like or 'dun speak to you' , dun go superficial on the songs u dun know or dun understand. dun go judgemental on the songs that just arent 'YOU'.

consistency shld be demanded of, from all of us. i assure u of all the purposes of worship, the ones of paramount importance doesnt involve us taking centrestage. we are there merely to facilitate and/or participate, worship is for God, and to allow Him to do His work in the church, be it healing or evangelism etc. we are VESSELS. lets realise the true power of worship songs and give God the respect He is due.

my last point. as much as there is supernatural power in the spiritual songs, so is there in the secular songs. its a matter of which kind of supernatural power u want ruling ur life forever. quoting captain planet " the power(of choice) is yours" 

accept that the lyrics have more effect than mere melody. see the pitfalls, dun fall into them knowing its there.

'give it all to the One whose Life saved mine'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl06RN5zRxk

Don Moen singing "God is good all the time"

a classic inspirational and truthful song. be blessed =) for all those who just need that extra assurance that God is for you and not against you =)

God deserves it all, unconditionally.

im gonna receive my results for my mid terms tmr. and this thought just came. ill give god praise in my next post if i do well. and then right there and then, i realised, my praise for God, my opinion of God cannot be conditional, cant be based on good results. even till now, im learning day by day abt the process of spiritual maturity. i sincerely have to ask God for forgiveness for giving Him a condition to meet, in order for me to extol Him in my blog, when 2000 years ago He first loved me, unconditionally.

many times things may not go the way we want it to go, but sometimes,we just have to realise its just not abt us.  its abt God, its abt His plan , that is higher and greater than what our minds can comprehend. its abt God using us for something greater. Thank you God for loving us first, unconditionally

Worship leading 101

the story of how God showed up.

it was a frustrating morning practice. everything wrong with our ministry just began to surface one by one. musicians not prepared for the songs, some. some co leaders singing at the top of their voices just to be heard. the choir screaming even more since they dun have microphones. everything was just so loud and noisy. it was so clear, that everyone was individual. there was no team effort at all in making the practice work.

i was so tempted to just let them sing all they want and then speak my mind during the morning prayer, but i knew in my spirit that that was the thing i wanted to do, not what god wanted. i started to moan and ask why is this happening? am i missing something?

prac ended and i headed straight to the prayer room. i was close to tears.im 20+ years younger than most of my team here. what can i do. this is not what i thought worship ministry would be. these ppl were full grown adults acting like little children. how was this supposed to work for the glory of God.

i was praying for an answer. praying and praying. then i recalled my theme for worship service,and then i realised what was happening, God had the whole world in His hands. was god taking me on a real life situation of the theme of my worship service? it looked certainly like it was. everything was literally out of my control. what else could i do besides mere shouting? what else could i do besides probably asking the sound technician to turn down the co leaders' mic volume. at that point of uncertainty and a lack of control, only God could do something.

9:25am, time to go up stage. i lingered in the prayer room for a good one minute, and muttered, 'God, take control. ive realised my ways are not higher than yours. show me your way. all i want to do is worship.' i walked up the stage, took a breather, and started. 

results: whatever that went wrong during practice, simply worked itself out during the service itself. and i realised right then, its not abt how u want god to use you, we dun get a say, we just need to be available and obedient. Man may disappoint, but God never does. trust had to be placed in the right person.

kari jobe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fsrQFWb-xc

prayer meeting (He's Got The Whole World In His Hands)

it was friday, and i dun usually go for prayer meetings because of sch and tuition. after the session with pastor bob, it ended quite late thus i decided to just go for prayer meeting. 

during the prayer meeting, prayer requests werent the only things on my mind, during the worship, i just felt every unhappy thought that i had towards the church, towards the youth grp, towards everything i felt was going wrong. nth seemed to work in terms of persuading them to see the correct way to go abt doing church as a team. it was a time when God just listened to my every problem, i felt i was the most problematic child in His kingdom. i couldnt bring myself to think abt anything else. i wanted to seek God and seek His ways, to know that His ways are higher, I somehow required more assurance.

this next part of the story is gonna sound ridiculous to some and hopefully meaningful and applicable to most. 

during this whole time, i was holding one of those stereotypical stress balls, and it was modelled after the globe, it belonged to josiah who received it from his geography teacher. this whole time while i was complaining and whining and being a little baby in the presence of God, my hand still held on to that globe stress ball, squeezing it everytime i had a complaint. 

worship ended and it was a time of free worship and spontaneous prayers, and we were all seated. ppl were praying aloud and i just couldnt seem to get a prayer out. i just agreed with them, nodding my head in approval and acknowledgement. i was still looking for an answer, and i got so frustrated, i just started to play with the stress ball, squeezing it, tapping it, still asking God why hasnt He given me an answer yet. i was kind of resigned that His ways are higher, in that non-chalant kinda way, and simply sat back. at that point of time, everyone was probably wondering why haven i prayed for smth yet, i was the only one left who hasnt muttered a single word.

Then, as i sat the stressball upright on the palm of my hand and looked at it for a moment, the complaining stopped, it just came to me, as clear as it was, " He's got the whole world in His hands' and it just kept repeating and it just kept coming to me ' he's got it covered ivan. why are u worried? He's got the whole world in His hands!' then i looked at the stressball sitting on my hand, thinking, this ball was 1/4 of my hand, and then another thought struck me ' now multiply that by a hundred times, thats how small the world is. thats how much he is in control. that is how big our God is' 

right there and then i started to worship, incidentally, it was the closing song, and i just sang my heart out more than ever, knowing my faith though seemingly shaken, had been strengthened once again. the phrase didnt stop coming to me, ' I've got the whole world in My hands, ivan, im in control" 

what a unique encounter with God, with His Holy Spirit speaking truth into my life and uplifting me once again.

God is good. He's got the whole world in His hands. and when you ask, it will be given, u just have to wait for the opportune moment.

a new post coming soon

hey all, ill be posting a new post soon somewhere next week. have been really busy in school so sorry for those who were expecting posts. i know its super outdated already, ill update it next week. promise. cheers=)

my reply to the "JUST A PASSERBY"

this is for the passerby that left the comments on my tagboard.

firstly, my post is not questioning the right or wrong of the act of putting in effort or the desire to improve oneself, but instead is questioning the intention behind these acts.effort only trumps natural talent when engineered and steered efficiently and proficiently,and that only happens successfully when God intends it with the greatest of intentions.any other motive that drives the effort will fail in many aspects, and may even cause other aspects of ur life to fall apart.
Secondly u are also assuming with ignorance that natural talent stands on it own without effort.

Thirdly if it is really God's way of helping you, then you wouldnt be asking me that question at all wont u? u probably wont be even bothered by this post.

Fourthly,my guess is that u want it to be God's way of helping you, or u wouldnt be positing the possibility at all.

Once again there is nothing wrong with 'putting in effort to make up' for what seems like a 'loss of innate ability' but i think ur effort is merely trying to mask and make up for the 'loss of ego' that you've suffered when u realised u lost out to someone u deemed 'unworthy' or 'improbable' to be better than u in that aspect.

Lastly,
my dear fren, if u really want to excel in whatever, its not gonna be abt u, what u want to excel in, what u think is best for ur 'presentation/performance/a chance to show off' etc.etc. it will be abt what God wants for you. and that will actually be better, and u will find more fuller and long lasting satisfaction than u ever did trying to excel on things god did not intend for u to excel in.

and if jealousy is the thing that drives u, it will be the thing that destroys u

God bless,

Ivan

envy

 this is random but im sure for most it is pretty relevant. the need to have everything someone else has. the need to better that someone even if it is just a act of unruly defiance, manifests from a singular feeling which is jealous envy. this feeling consumes ur every act and spoken word, simply because u think he/she doesnt deserve whatever he/she is enjoying now. maybe its money, or looks or studies etc. if u start on this road, its a slippery one. there is always someone better, in everything. what do u prove at the end of the day? that you can be better? okay but what comes out of that shows what motivates u.. jealousy. it shows ur character, and its major flaws. in ur foolish attempt to be better, you've shown ur inadequate nature that probably meant why that person is better in the first place. self defeating? u bet.

its laughable and sad at the same time. if god meant for u two to be the same, he wouldn't have made both of you. instead i will go as far to say that u are insulting the creativity of God as u question ur own existence and features as a child of God. grow up. there is definitely more to the christian life than this. outward appearances dun last forever, its the same with forced qualities. if u dun have the heart, nothing will last. give it up and start over. dun live just to prove to a person who doesnt even care, that u are better. only u care. and God will be going 'what are u doing?'

there is a unique role for u to play. dun give it up for temporal, lame and childish satisfaction of being one up over ur 'foe'. ask the Holy Spirit to renew ur mind. renew ur perspective. start living how God wants u to live. strive to improve using God's way not yours. god won't let u live in mediocrity. the more u do it your way. the more mediocre u become. 

one last thing for the unconvinced. when u want to beat the person, u are already putting in more effort than he/she is. what u are jealous of is the natural talent, the innate ability. im sorry but i dun think effort trumps that at all. once again, u just showed u need effort to make up for what is a loss of innate ability on your part.

am i talking about you? yes. ( i mean if u are alr thinking abt this question....)

INSTANTANEOUS RESPONSE

just when i finished typing the previous post, i clicked view post and then my ipod thingy started playing on my blog. and the song STILL was playing. and it was a video and the screen showed this, "Dun be disappointed when God doesn't give you what you want, For he knows the best time for you to have it." AWESOME. God just intervened. instantly. Jesus is my Savior! no argument. period.

honesty.

i need answers to my qns. why did things turn out the way they did. Lord i need to see your hand in this. i need to return to where i once was. people leaving, people backsliding, people simply not caring. why cant it take off? why are we stuck, why are we lost. im losing it. i need support. i cant take it all alone. fellowship. we need fellowship. discipleship. im at my lowest. when i fall down, pls pick me up Lord. i cant stay down. intervention. we need a godly intervention. a Jesus encounter.

cheap. period.

Israelites. desert. 40 years. 14600 days.

we are in the desert. we have to get out. there is no direction to follow, no advice to heed, no common cause to work towards. self centered natures have taken over. personal strategies and goals have surfaced. stupid and childish quarrels ensue right after. jealousy follows. lost we are. and lost we will remain being if we dun start to wake up. how much do we want our promise land? how much more longer do we want to stay in the desert. the longer we stay the further we are away from promise. the more disorientated we are. the more lost we are. can we be more lost? we need to focus. we need help. we need to be humbled. we need God, more so we need to admit that we need God.

enough with being satisfied with where we are. there is nth satisfying abt our state. not anywhere close where God wants us to be. we need to want more, we need to want to be better, we need to want to be who God wants and intends us to be. pretention only lasts that long. why are we even going to church if we are expecting  lukewarm experiences from God, a few casual conversations, and no concrete and valuable inputs into our lives. are we growing? or are we stagnating? are we even at the state of decay? im tired of the mind games. im tired of stubborn and stuck up people.i'm tired of immaturity and egos. im tired of half- hearted responses. im basically tired. physically.

this is getting out of hand. imagine yourselves dwelling in the hse of God with this kinds of behavior, if God were human like our parents, we will be on the streets. grab hold of the second chance. realise u are nth without God. realise the church is for GOD, NOT FOR YOU. realise u need God. God will show u. its time to rise up JAEL.. its long overdue.

Learn from the Israelites. history might just repeat itself.

Psalms 23/ what happened on sunday; the feeling of being used by God.

Psalms 23. a meaningful psalm. especially for those whose faith are wavering, those in doubt of the presence of God in the presence of your difficulties. read it carefully, line by line verse by verse and be really encouraged by David. bottom line is,even when u walk thru your valley of the shadow of death, which is something i consider to be one of the worst or perhaps the worst thing that can happen to u/me, and God is going to be there, do u not think He will be there when u go thru other problems that are lesser in comparison? Our God is a big God. Really big. its time to really know our  BIG GOD.



now for what happened on sunday.
very discouraged and disturbed by many things prior to Sunday. even forgot that i was worship leading and had to send out songlist by wed.preoccupied with the situation of the youth. came to church. lost my blackberry sock on the taxi. during practice many many mistakes, even went out of tune at the start of one song. emotional confidence level lowered. presentation song was not ready to be presented, cancelled it.prayed earnestly just before service started, asking God to help me focus and be ready to be used by Him. service started. was worship leading. shared Psalms 84. then just before i started to lead the next slow song.then felt a strong impulse to review Psalms 23 and share.Holy Spirit promtping to elaborate. so i obeyed and did.a bit draggy as im naturally naggy. worship flowed. word of knowledge from uncle gilbert towards the end. communion. end.



well i thought that was the end. after the worship i was making my way to the toilet, aunty eileen came out from the ladies, smiled and hugged me and said, 'God is very pleased with you'. i was stunned. and just hugged her back. after the entire service, was going towards audi 2 to prac for youth. another adult appeared in front of me, shook my hand and said, thank you for Psalms 23, it really spoke to me. and i was like wow twice someone came up to me thanking God that He spoke through me. i was really happy and honored at the same time. two was more than enough for me to know what i did on stage was real,god planned, god initiated and god concluded/ministered.



then another twist. when God blesses, He blesses in abundance. and this was in the form of another i am close to, texting me just before i went to bed, saying thank you for the songs that i led and for Psalms 23. that it really spoke to his/her heart. wow i gave thanks once again to my God. my awesome Big God who included me into His plan of ministering to His children. It felt awesome. it was honorable. and all i did was ask. all it took was a willing heart ready to do the will of God. God is awesome. two words to tell God today; 'USE ME.'



* p.s cant mention the two names cuz i didnt seek their permission to. so for now they are just person A and B. ( referring to the two that approached me and texted me respectively)

when u are numbed by the devil

im just gonna go straight to it. when u feel something is not right, whether in your ministry or life or relationships etc etc, it IS not right! redundant? cliche? whatever u call it but this is something almost everyone doesnt seem to realise. because just when they are abt to wake up, they suffer from something called the numbing sensation, courtesy of the devil himself. when u feel something is gg astray, and u know its not your natural sinful deceitful heart, thats the conviction of God. but that conviction can be easily superceded by the devil's doing. 

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? is the devil better than GOD? u wish. all the other demons in the world wish. naturally that is nv possible because God is omnipotent and because... well HE IS GOD. but we make it possible how? when we start to get caught up w the things of the world rather than the things of God. worldly things like sin, secular music, ungodly behavior and speech, o the list goes on. and when we start to enjoy it more because it brings abt more 'satisfaction' and 'fufilment' mainly because we are too lazy to seek after God and instead SETTLE for second best/actually the worst and start to convince ourselves its the best we can do.

Example time: which story do we like better? Sam Worthington saving the planet Pandora or Jesus saving our planet Earth? which had more impact visually and emotionally? last question, which one was real? think abt it ehh

next example: what do we like better? people singing abt girls and sex and booze and being emo or people singing abt how God has changed their lives, even putting it into verses and choruses that mirror our very lives or at the very least set a good example for ours? yes the other songs may sound nice, whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover. the music is the initial attraction, dun let it be the main fatal attraction and let the lyrics seep into your subconscious mind. BE ALERT! be motivated by the right lyrics and even the right purpose of the song.

what is my point exactly? what u glory in, u will eventually be caught up in. and what u are caught up in will be eventually what u believe. thats the way the devil will numb u. because slowly, u will lean towards the world's opinion rather than God's, the world's standards rather than God's> and slowly u dun feel anything for the things of God, the wrath of God etc etc. u become numbed to the things of God. and its a slow and sure process. the worst is u realise it and u may not even be bothered in the slightest. 

time to be sensitive again. time to wake up and time to go back to foundational truths of our christianity.dun let the devil numb u. its a painless process thus u will nv resist it. so pray for God's conviction and His Holy Spirit to guide u, to make it hurt.when u dun feel anything anymore, its easier to hurt u without u knowing at all. its easier for the devil to take off from you the armor of God. the best thing is that he will lead u to decide to take it all off.

when smth is not right. its not right. make it right. dun ignore it. or it'll become a habit. a devilish habit. dun numb yourself. dun let the devil numb u. BE SENSITIVE TO THE THINGS OF GOD. make the effort. its a matter of life and death. its a matter of your eternal fate. think and ponder.

the power of God and the prompting of the Holy Spirit

this is an experience i had at my old church last week when my dad went there to preach to the youth abt the Holy Spirit. ill make it short and sweet, hopefully.
the first happening was when my father gave the altar call. the youth was small thus they only had one guitar player on duty that night. so when the altar call came, i guess it wasnt part of their practice to know when to go up and help provide some music background so as to provide them at least a song for the youth to sing and identify with the message.

i was at the back, praying and asking God to just do his work powerfully in that small hall. that was when it came to me, why no music? cuz im so used to having songs to sing after a sermon in order for me to respond in heart and song as well. the youth pastor was standing next to me, and then it came. the prompting. i have never been able to play the guitar well in my life. u can ask anyone. i just try...and usually only i think its pleasant. but at that moment i just turned to the pastor and said, hey can i play the guitar? i went in front,. took the guitar and then came the human moment,

what in the world was i thinking, i cant lead worship with a guitar, i'm not even supposed to be standing in front of them. but i knew in my heart God told me to pick up that guitar. so i prayed for a song. and my most impromptu song came to me, Rain Down. and then i started playing, and singing and my heart was so encouraged when they all started to sing. Some were tearing and crying out to God, some were just in reverence of who they were giving praise to and at that moment, i truly felt what it meant to be really used by God as a mere vessel and nothing else. it was simply awesome to see how God had moved in that place. and then i started to play all the G D Em C songs i knew as the Spirit led me, it was awesome to be used and led solely by the presence of God and the prompting of His Holy Spirit.

my dad and i then started to pray individually for each of them and it was the first time i laid hands and prayed my heart out for someone i barely knew. i couldnt have done it by myself and i knew that God was the one giving me the words to say, the courage to even speak.what happened next was by far, one of the most amazing things i've experienced myself and heard from someone.

my dad told me that he'll pray for one more and then we'll leave. i had already prayed for whoever God told me to pray for. so i just waited for my dad to end. as my dad ended and signalled for me to follow him out of the hall. i got the same prompting again. from the same voice, and i told my dad i gotta pray for one more person. the worship leader. can? and he was like okay take your time. so i went to the worship leader and prayed for her. shared with her what it meant to me to be a worship leader etc etc. after i was done, i was ready to go and she pulled me back and asked if she could pray for me also. i was taken aback for a moment but agreed of course. her prayer for me was as if God was telling me he knew exactly wad was going on in my life,. the choices and decisions i have made and the first two sentences that she prayed, really hit home, and that shook me because i barely knew this girl. i just nodded in agreement and affirmed what she had prayed and was blessed by her words and her anointing as a worship leader and as a prayer warrior.

afterwards, she shared with me that she felt God had actually told her to pray for me when my dad and i first entered the hall. she was struggling with God on the basis that she didnt even know me and that she didnt have the guts to pray for someone like that. it was smth she had nv done before. but she finally relented towards the will of God but conditioned that she would only pray for me if i prayed for her first.and when she saw me about to leave then turning back and walking towards her, she knew God had taken up her challenge. i have never met the girl, didnt speak to her before the service, so when she told me the 'deal' she had made with God on whether to pray for me or not, it struck me.

when God needs people to do His work, He doesnt look for the know- it- alls or worse, the ' want-to-know-it-alls', he looks for the obedient. and that was exactly it. it was a pretty good example and i saw and experienced first hand one of the ways in which God works. it felt awesome to be a part of his work. an honor. God is so real. His Holy Spirit is so real. i thank God for everything He has done for me. I'm now more hungry to be involved in the work for His Kingdom. 

who's fault? / How important is God to you?

ever felt what it was like to see a bunch of your frens who used to go to church with you, be in minstry with you, hung out with you, shared most of your teenage life with you, take a wrong turn and end up all wrong?( i couldn't seem to find an appropriate noun). something happened, something out of the ordinary, something unexpected and you see yourself helpless in rectifying anything of the situation and they decide to leave the life they have lived, and live life another way.they cut you out compeletely from their lives without giving any sort of an explanation or justification, instead solely focussed on seeking out a seemingly better alternative. and you just can't stop thinking abt the WHAT IF's and what would be different if the WHAT IFs had come to past.

i cant get past myself, i take it upon myself that this has happened. what i cant pin down is what i could've have done. because at that point of time just being there for them just didnt seem to be able to cut it. but i was clueless. i was 15. i cant keep feeling bad for myself. there has got to be closure but i cant seem to know what that closure can be, or what it can even bring abt anyway. i wanna know whay it happened. how it happened and even more inportantly, how did leaving church become the best possible solution. its the easiest i guess but then again i'm not them so i can't predict what was going through their minds when they made that decision. its puzzling and frustrating. and i have started to question myself.

evangelism. how are we doing evangelism personally. was it enough? was it a case of unwillingness to reach out to our fellow christian, the one we brought to church. were we not willing to obey and hear God's prompting? there were signs, i think.

worship. are we fully aware that we were made to worship? our lives are not of our own if we choose to live a life that pleases god. if so will it still be so simple to just leave the faith? maybe there's a faulty pre requiste, discipleship. are our foundations right with God? do we know what we need to know to sustain us in times of trials and tribulations. are we set right? are we good to go? are our cells functioning well? are we thirsty for the Word? are we even thirsty for anything? how personal is God to you? how many of your strings are actually attached to God? (string = aspect of your life)

fellowship. how friendly are u to the regular stranger? how often do we try to see who talks to who first even when it comes to best frens? how often are we wearing masks of morality when we talk to someone we don't like? then again, how close are we as a youth group/church to even demand these standards of truthfulness and openness? how aware are we on what it is really like to be in the house of God as a family of God?

ministry. are we still caring abt ourselves? are we being mature and responsible in our own ministry? are we effective in our ministry? have we ever thought we are doing too much for our ministry? that we are too good for our ministry? who in the world said it was your ministry to begin with? if its going to be abt you, dun try to think otherwise to make yourself feel better yet again abt yourself. its not personal. its just the truth

lets set our records straight. history should not repeat itself like this. lets get our mindsets right. lets respond to God reasonably, unnecessary hurt and despair cannot do any good to us. its not abt me or you this time (and the times to come) its abt God, its for God.

Humility.

humility is something i believe, God has placed in our hearts. that possible setting of heart whereby you are able to access an understanding of a bigger picture, of a bigger heart, God's heart. it allows you to realise what is more important in the long run than in that fit of anger/immediate moment. all sounds very 'model answer' and very cliche doesn't it?


sometimes the truth does sound more cliche and "yea yea yea i know' than cool or revelational. the important part however comes from the willingness to obey God's heart or not. That is your defining moment, from being lost, to being found again in God's grace and mercy through obedience. The experience taught me alot. and it was definitely not easy both before and after the humbling of my own ego. but i think when we finally come to realise that God is ultimately in control and when His peace just embraces you like He always does, you feel the assurance that you ahve done the right thing. the thing that allows God to step in and take comtrol of the situation.


God is simple and direct in terms of free will. if you allow Him to step in, He will, but if u start to wrestle control again, then He won't interfere and instead watch you closely from where He is. Its here where He wants to watch you and make you grow. Allowing you to see the error of your ways and realise that there are just levels of thinking that you can't access unless you ask God for help. its like a person trying to do a math question he has no idea how to solve. but instead of submitting to a higher authority a.k.a teacher, he tries again and again. the end result is frustration and despair. Don't misunderstand his omniscient power for his gift of free will to us, or you will be sorely misunderstood on what you have to do when conflict arises. time will heal everything? it won't if nothing is done. and what if time is not on your side?

Instead, God will heal everything when u finally want to get on the boat of humility and forgiveness regardless the circumstances,as He will always be on your side ( not that he supports u in your argument with that someone.) Don't be cowardly. Don't misunderstand God's power, Who He is and what He is and what He stands for. Don't be lazy. what would Jesus do in your situation eh? cliche yet again. but true.

without God I am truly nothing. there was really a purpose to that failed test.

i need to sleep. then again watching old shows and browsing old pictures really make u wanna scream for whatever reason, be it good or bad. so many emotions and concerns and thoughts and feelings, i need God, now more than ever. this period of doing nth is doing something to me. at least there are a few people who make it all better every single day. to really adapt to change is so difficult. i seem to not be able to see past the next day, let alone the future. is it just me or is everything out of order. i need some focus, some sort of a thorough tidying up of myself. im bottling up too much. in a bid to be someone who can be looked up to, im slowly becoming someone i was always afraid to become, an idler. i cannot be like this. i gotta snap out of it. god help me snap out of it. i've lost touch. its time to come back to who i used to be. i dun like the present me. its too much. i've changed. ive got to unchange that. yeap. i have to. for everyone's sake. for my sake.o for goodness sake. literally.

the problems and the one solution

THE PROBLEMS

1) youth service is youth service, not the time to come late, take your time, and enter with an attitude that no one deserves. no one owes anyone anything. the only person we do owe is God

2) don't complain the youth ministry doesn't grow, cuz personal devotion itself helps you grow. blaming someone for our lack of growth is the equivalent of blaming satan for giving us temptation. if we really wanted to grow, we will regardless the provisions. leadership is something we dont question, because God appoints, we follow.

3) ministry is of the heart, not of outward gestures and performances, like in army, sooner or later people will see the 'wayang' (act act only). the heart endures, our emotions dont.rmb when mary chose to listen to Jesus and not help martha. Jesus said she chose what was better. Luke 10:38 a heart of focusing on the right thing which was Jesus.

4) youth ministry is not run by one. man up everyone and start doing something for your own youth ministry and stop taking a backseat and criticizing everything that is wrong from your own perspective, because it is small and short sighted. DO SOMETHING instead of SAY SOMETHING. God doesnt need onlookers, he needs doers of the Word. stop being lazy and hide being that lame excuse of ' but no sermon how we grow'. there are so many resources.(cell leaders, bible study materials, the BIBLE) or is it too much trouble to go to, to learn about a GOD who gave his ALL for us sinners? youth ministry starts with all of us. the pastures are always greener on the other side. and unless god tells u clearly to leave, you don't. its as simple as that.

5) we want to change our youth ministry? then start changing ourselves first and make ourselves usable for God. a heart of critique and unnecessary disrespect and coyness aren't things that God can use.

6) youth ministry is about GOD and not US. is what you can do for God and not what our youth ministry can do for us. its called a ministry. means outreach. so settle ourselves so we can settle others.

THE ONE SOLUTION

cant think of anymore problems we have at the moment but enough for us to reflect and ponder. the one solution is God. Get our lives in order and make ourselves usable. look at our own hearts before looking at others and judging them.get a GOD PERSPECTIVE instead of a 'ME' PERSPECTIVE.

stop our intra-ministry gossiping and focus on what really matters and what really needs to be addressed. it is ultimately God's youth ministry.

p.s. i just had to get it out. hope this wakes us all up

grace assembly and driving lessons

i finally went to grace assembly for a ministry meeting and it was awesome. they actually free worshipped for 15 mins during and after a song, twice! i've never experienced such freedom in worship in a collective before and i was so happy to be able to say all that i wanted to God with the loudest i could be and just raising my hands without regard. everyone is like that there! awesome. simply awesome. then Pastor meng chiam preached about living with grace in place, not displaced or replaced. such an input into my life. God has really prepared the place for me before i went. looking forward to sat man! band and singing training! GRACE IS AWESOME!

(awkward silence)

i went for my first driving lessons today also and i just realised that driving at 20km/h is actually FAST! yea its FAST! dun call me scaredy cat, u go and try yourself for the first time. lol! but it was really fun man. the instructor is really funny with his analogies and theories on the road. only thing is i brake and accelerate really hard so i gotta watch it. guess im made for faster things like F1! hahaha yea right.. haha o man im so not gonna be able to pass let alone drive ppl around. scared. very scary i wanna drive my tank again! =(

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i miss many people, many things, many times. God help me see that change is good.

Blasphemy and Vulgarities

thought this might be of interest to some of us. i just felt the need to share this.

Blasphemy against the Spirit is the absolute, permanent, hateful rejection of the gifts of the Holy Spirit with the motive to keep others from fully following Christ as well as to keep one's position of power. A person who has committed this sin has no desire for repentance, will divide the body of Christ, judge the salvation of others, and will ultimately die in this state.

Swearing:

Leviticus 19:12

 And ye shall not swear by my name falsely, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the LORD. - King James Version

Jeremiah 23:10

For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right. - King James Version

Hosea 10:4

 They have spoken words, swearing falsely in making a covenant: thus judgment springeth up as hemlock in the furrows of the field. - King James Version

James 5:12

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation. - King James Version

check out this story..

I met two Mormon missionaries who had more fear of God than these charismatic-bashers. They politely shared with my wife and me their view that only Mormons could be saved.

            I kindly objected and told them how I was born again. I shared how I was filled with the Holy Spirit.

            "How do you know that you have the Holy Spirit?" the head missionary asked.

            "I know because I have the gifts of the Holy Spirit, including speaking in tongues," I answered boldly.

            And without hesitation, he questioned, "How can you be sure that your speaking in tongues is from the Holy Spirit and not from an evil spirit?"

            I cleverly answered, "You tell me, did I receive the Holy Spirit or an evil spirit?"

            The other missionary interrupted, "It is not our place to judge."

            "But you say that no one can receive the Holy Spirit without being a Mormon," I baited.

            The leader spoke up. "I'm prepared to tell you whether you received the Holy Spirit or an evil spirit!"

            "Go, ahead. Tell me."

            He paused. He thought for a moment. His mind seemed to drift. Finally, he forced the words out slowly, but almost wishing to keep silent, "You received an evil spirit."

            With a boldness not my own, I pointed my finger at him and fired the words, "Jesus said you can blaspheme Him or His Father and still be forgiven, but if you blaspheme the Holy Spirit, you'll not be forgiven in this age or the age to come! If you're right, then you have nothing to fear; but if your wrong, then you are in danger of eternal damnation!"

            The other Mormon jumped in, "I didn't say it." Then he pointed to his friend. "HE SAID IT!"

            A couple of minutes elapsed when the leader softly said, "I want to take back my statement." And with humility, he apologized, "Sir, not only should I not have judged you, but I was wrong in my judgment of you. According to my Mormon teaching, you can not have the Holy Spirit. But, I believe, you are the first non-Mormon I've met who has the Holy Spirit."

            I wish some fundamentalist would have the same fear of God as these Mormons. 

I pray that none will fall victim to this, that the Lord will take control of your thoughts and keep it pure.lets stop speaking profanities. Never deny the Holy Spirit and his work.

God's Test For His Anointed

1 Samuel 20:1 What have I done? what is my crime? how have i wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?

the cost of being God's chosen can be great. those whom God have anointed for service and influence in His Kingdom has to undergo a special preparation so as to be ready for the future challenges in his adventure with God.

One such example in the Bible was the test David had to undergo when he was serving the the courts of Saul. we all know the story of David being anointed to be the next King of Israel as a young boy. he was brought into King Saul's service to play music. He served well and while there got the opportunity to stand up against Goliath and God elevated him for his next stage of development as future king of Israel.

Then there came a point of time that when David's popularity grew with the many things he has accomplished as future king, so did King Saul's jealousy of him.the time came when Saul could control it no longer and decided to try and kill David. David thus had to go into hiding for many years till he was able to see that the hand of God in all of this.

If you know you have been anointed for something great, whether through your daily devotions, at an altar call or even at a conference, then be prepared and equip yourself for God's tests. When God anoints us, it is accompanied by some severe tests designed to prepare us for the calling God has on our lives. the consequence of failing a test is the same as with our school system, we will just remain at that level till we are able to prove to God that we are ready for the next challenge which will be harder and tougher than the previous.

What kind of tests will God put before us?
these tests often involve;
1) money,
2) relationships
3) issues of the heart,
4) temptations, and even your fears.

David definitely thought that once he was anointed above all his other brothers to be the future king of Israel by Samuel, he would be conveniently nurtured, trained and raised to be the next king accompanied with all the comfortable benefits of kingship. But God's plan is always bigger than ours because He sees farther than us. God prepares us for eternity, whereas we have the tendency to only plan for the immediate future and have false hope in eternity.

God's prep of David involved persecution, disloyalty and even great hardship. God knew these were key lessons for a godly King.

so lets evaluate ourselves. each and every one of us have a certain and unique calling by God and it is a definite big appointment in its own right. if you are going through tough times now, be sure to discern if now is the time God has set for your test. Are you willing to grow from it? are u willing to endure through it all so that you are one step closer to God ultimate calling for your life? these tests are all designed to bring about greater obedience greater humility and greater resolve. and through these personal tests, greater faith in the work God has been doing in your life. Be alert and aware when tough times come your way because it just might be God's exam in determining if you are ready for more.

To be a great part in God's kingdom is worth it. Do not stagnate your own spiritual growth and position in a moment of weakness, inability or failing to see things God's way. God never gives us tests we can't pass. it is always a situation we can deal with when we seek God for His strength. God wants to prepare you adequately for His service. BE READY. Pass the test and go onto the next level. He's waiting for you.

2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


Heb 5:8
Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

The Desert

Ever thought of conveying an important message to someone but realising that he or she isnt giving his or her full attention towards you? there seems to be one or more things distracting him or her from listening to you with full intent. eventually you either wait for him to be free of distractions or drag him/her to one corner with and tell him/her.

Distractions prevent us from giving our undivided attention to the messenger. in our christian walk with God, he is our messenger and sometimes He also sends the Holy Spirit. God has His own way of taking us aside, so as for us to give him our undivided attention. many biblical characters have been taken out of their comfort zone and into their own deserts by God. there was Paul, Moses, Joseph and even David  when he was running away from King Saul.

We as humans are stubborn at times, and for some of us its probably all the time, and God knows we need a desert experience in order for Him to acccomplish his work, in order for us to be given the privilege of being used by Him in His Kingdom.

The Desert does a few things to us:

1) makes us uncomfortable and forces us to adapt.

2) leaves us barren of material resources and makes us turn to, for most of us, our last resort, God.

3) it changes our focus from the luxury to the necessity of survival, in this case; spiritual survival.

4) allows us to draw deeper from God's grace.

5) removes the unnecessary.

( these are just some of the things which i think u all will identify with)

God will only take you out of the desert once He has accomplished what He had set out to do and change in your life. Nonetheless take comfort that the desert is only a season in our lives and that it won't last forever. instead use the time to really understand God's heart, aspire to hear His voice like you would have never heard, if you weren't in the desert.

its about seeing the desert through God's perspective. If you think you seem to be in a dry lonely place, where everything and every aspect of your life is just not working out, then the time has come for you. you are in the desert. maximise the time you have in there and reach for God and all that He has for you during this time. Dun focus on the short sighted stuff and see the line ahead. it's the start of your moulding. in army , my sergeant used to say,'' tough times dun last tough men do''. and i guess it applies to our christian lives too. Tough times dun last, tough christians with firm foundations do.

Use the desert fully. God simply wants to take you higher. See it as God sees it.

Seeing The Big Picture

Genesis 42:36 'everything is against me!'

So often we are faced with one difficult situation after another. sometimes we just feel that everything is just against us, like we are battling in our darkest hour. you try to be mature and rational but u just cant seem to see whatever's happening, through God's eyes. everything that u are going just doesn't seem to add up or point to some meaningful direction of growth or experience.

what we have to believe is that through this trying time, God is doing His deepest behind-the-scenes work, and its a work that cannot be seen. One of God's methods for directing His children's steps is through drying up resources;a loss of something important, a disaster, or a relationship crisis.its through these times we are more willing to listen to God intently and seek God in ways we would not normally do.

keep reading the Bible as that's one of the best and most practical ways that God uses to give you direction. Just as Jacob had to endure the supposed loss of Joseph to death and Simeon to the Egyptian jail, we have to learn to know how to seek God's heart and understand the purpose behind our predicament when we are faced with our own trials that we don't understand at first.

Pray to continually seek after God's heart. ask Him to take you deeper.

'the darkest hour is just before daybreak'

haha JOKE OF THE DAY!

Next Time, Let's Stay in a Hotel

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the butt by a rattlesnake. "I'll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.

"I can't leave," the doctor says. "But here's what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground."

The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. "What did the doctor say?" the victim cries.

"He says you're gonna die."

Academy Of Rock

so i finally signed up for singing school yesterday with elisa at the Academy Of Rock and it was so difficult. my teacher's voice  is awesome and she apparently smokes somemore.so skillful! it was the first time i had to sing a secular song in front of someone assessing my vocal capabilities and it was so much harder than singing gospel songs. i learned mouth shapes, volume control and even how wide my mouth should be opened when i sing. really good class. o and the song that she chose for me was 'Lucky' by Jason Mraz. he is simply awesome.at first my pitch was all over the place then after hearing the intro over and over again, i got it. lol even the teacher was like 'okay listen again ah.'i never felt so noob before

but all in the name of improving so i can focus on the Spirit more instead of my voice capabilites when i worship lead.  so hopefully by the end of this whole course i can worry abt my voice a little less, especially after sunday! ahhhhhhh! o well not important. hopefully me going in a different key during the song 'till i see you' didnt distract anyone from worshipping. if i did im so sorry. im trying my best to improve. see! i signed up for singing classes already.so bear with me... haha   

p.s i just realised my punctuation sucks when i type. commas all over the place. maybe i should have a joke of the day. im so bored anyway.

 instrumental - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-jeAvo8rLA

with mr jason - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI2_k-StRYo

CANT TIME PASS FASTER?

its the 20th of January. 11 more days till i start my internship at grace assembly, and i really can't wait to see what God has in store for me when i worship lead over there. it'll be a nice change of environment, to see how other churches function when it comes to key ministries.then there is university in Aug, such a long way from now, but its coming soon.

this is really weird, what if no one's even reading? then I'm like more loser than the average person who merely talks to himself. I'm TYPING to myself! ha ha hopefully someone reads it or else... okay i dunno how to end this post. i just don't.. stupid blog thingy.